How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
