two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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