the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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