We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
