I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
