i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
