and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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