absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
