the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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