he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
