I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I supernannyed him into submission
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
