So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
