All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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