i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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