no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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