It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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