Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
