dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
