he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
