a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When are your genitals available?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
