you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
