i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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