I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
