that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
