You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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