Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
