Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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