Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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