Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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