he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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