well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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