Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
