Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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