I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
