yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
