Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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