id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
