the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
