I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
