What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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