I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
