im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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