Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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