I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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