i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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