I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
