So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
