it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
