Say something about gay babies.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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