farters have to be the big spoon...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
