my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
