M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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