I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
