Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
