Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How naked do you want me to be?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize