eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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