I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i dont even know how to be here
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
